Maroon 5 released the music video for their new single "Animals" last night, and below is the only definitive ranking of the vid's creepy moments you need to know about:
1. ALL OF THEM. It's a tie. Everything is the creepiest. Seriously.
In the video, Adam Levine plays a greasy, creepy guy who works in a butcher's shop. There are lots of scenes of him intermittently punching and caressing animal carcasses in the back of the shop. He is not wearing gloves; in some scenes he is even shirtless. (In addition to being creepy, this is also very unhygienic.) Meanwhile, Levine's real-life wife, Victoria's Secret model Behati Prinsloo, plays a lady who just comes into the butcher shop for a few slices of bacon maybe, with the rind cut off. Levine falls in love with her, stalks her, takes all sorts of creepshot photos, stands outside her apartment in the rain, and also breaks into the place to watch her sleep. Yeesh.
Except then he also approaches her in a club, probably planning to drug her drink and let's not even go there re: what would come next. But, for some reason, Behati is into his presence and what presumably is the pervasive smell of dead cows and knock-off designer cologne. So they go back to her place and hook up and then there's a scene right out of Carrie where they're naked and making out and then covered in pig's blood and it's all awful, just awful. I do not know why any of it is happening even though I suppose it is an appropriately warped visualization of a song with lyrics that includ, "Baby, I'm preying on you tonight; hunt you down, eat you alive," and, "You can't deny-ny-ny-ny, the beast inside-ide-ide-ide-ide." (That last part is a Levine echo.) If I have not managed to scare you away, you can watch the video here:
Anyway, remember when pop music videos were good fun like "Say You'll Be There," for example? Click that link to the classic Spice Girls video and consider it a palate cleanser, pls.
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