There's now a company that will allow you to sell animal feces in the mail to people you love. JK, it's for people you hate. Like, a lot.
Shit Express allows you to choose the animal excrement of your choice, pay with PayPal or Bitcoin, and then ship the shit straight to their front door. I wonder if you can pay extra and they'll make it combustible? Because why send shit when you could send flaming shit?! (Don't answer that.)
The future is now! And it stinks!
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Laura Beck is a Los Angeles-based TV writer and frequent contributor to Cosmopolitan.com — her work has appeared in the New York Times, New Yorker, Jezebel, and the Village Voice.
