Dave is 32; Emily is 33. They've been married for five years, together six, and they have an 18-month-old daughter.

How long did you date before you got engaged?

Dave: Six months.

Was there a proposal?

Emily: Yeah, so we went to go get breakfast one morning and he said we were going somewhere in Brooklyn and we'd have to walk over the bridge, the Brooklyn Bridge. He was like, "We need to get ready!" and I'm getting ready, but of course I'm taking my time because it's a Saturday and kinda lazy. But he's like, "We gotta go!" and he insisted we take a cab. It was around Thanksgiving so it was so cold ...

Dave: Like the coldest day of the year — in the single digits. Nobody is on the bridge.

Wait, so he has you take a cab to the bridge and then you get out of the cab?

Emily: Yes, to walk over the bridge.

What did you think was going on with him?

Emily: Well, sometimes he'll do spontaneous things; I didn't really think about it. But then we got out of the car and he started being really weird and he was like, "You need to take your sunglasses off," and I was like, "What?" The reason he had me take my sunglasses off was because he actually hired a photographer to follow us anonymously. He proposed on the bridge. So I have all the pictures of it, which is really cool.

Emily, do you remember when you knew he was The One?

Emily: On a date Dave bought a dinghy and took us down the Hudson River in the middle of the night.

Who is this guy?

Emily: It was a great date. And Dave had launched the boat and rolled his ankle under a rock and fell partially in the Hudson and jumped in the boat. He'd actually broken his ankle. But you would've never known. He pulled out fine cheese and crackers for the boat ride.

With a broken ankle.

Emily: With a broken ankle and laughing and having fun and being sure I got home. He put me in a taxi and ended up going to the emergency room. Ever since we had that date I just knew he'd be a lot of fun but he'd also be sweet and kind.

What about you, Dave?

Dave: We flew out to meet the parents — her mom is in Idaho and her dad is in Montana — and it was one of those things where she was pretty nervous going into it, but there was this strange calm where I felt privileged to be going there to protect her.

Emily: I wasn't very close to my dad and he was pretty sick and I was really nervous to bring someone. Since I was 15, I probably saw him a handful of times, but I felt it was important for him to meet whoever I wanted to marry. Dave was amazing at such an awkward, terrible time for me. He was so surprisingly calm. I remember crying the whole ride home because I was really sad to see [my dad] so sick — he's since passed away — and I remember quietly sobbing and [Dave] was super sweet and nice about it and he just let me have my moment. And my dad loved him.

Some people come into your life and make those situations more difficult, but you needed a person who would make those situations easier.

Emily: Yeah.

Do you guys fight? What do you fight about?

Dave: Family.

Emily: Family.

Dave: That is the number-one thing. My family is the circus and I am nothing like my family.

So how does that start a fight between you and Emily?

Dave: I put all of my anger and resentment and let it build up. I'm fine until either they're getting ready to come into town or I'm getting ready to meet them somewhere and then I'm a jerk.

You turn into another person.

Dave: Absolutely.

Emily: And I'm someone who is always accommodating his family and my family and he doesn't want to do that with me.

Dave: My mom is like Nurse Jackie, for reals. I mean, Emily doesn't know that as much. My parents ... it's almost like Sid and Nancy. And they even bring their shit into our lives sometimes, like when they were just here, they were talking about how they need to reset their life and we need to figure out what to do for them. And it's like, well, let's see, you're 55 years old ... so that's frustrating.

Do you remember your last fight?

Emily: He had just gotten home today and he greeted me terribly because he'd been in really bad traffic and I was like, "Nope, I'm not gonna accept that." And he can pretend it never happened.

Dave: Not pretend it never happened! I just have the ability to move on and Emily is still waiting for closure for fights that happened a year or two ago.

Emily: He did re-greet me today. He gave me a nicer greeting. I just don't like to be yelled at.

Dave: What? I just came home and they're doing our yard right now and so our guy isn't here who is supposed to be here, so instead of saying, "Hi," I said, "Where's the fence guy?" That's all I said! The end.

And you're like, "I want a divorce?"

Dave: Basically. So it's not that I was rude, I just that wasn't friendly.

Emily: Greetings are important to me.

Dave: Words of affirmation.

Emily: Yep.

How has your sex life changed since you got married?

Emily: I think it's gotten better.

Dave: I agree with that. Better.

Do you know why?

Dave: I think that Emily's a little more vocal about what she wants and that helps me. It's nice to have an open dialogue about what your partner wants.

Emily: Before I was a little bit shy about sex. I didn't grow up taking about it much, so it's been kinda fun 'cause I've been able to feel more comfortable with it. Learning what I actually like, and then doing that.

So, how often are you having sex?

Emily: Liiike ... three or four times a week

Dave: Yeah?

That was half-agreed.

Emily: Well we've had family in town, which makes it uncomfortable to have sex in the house.

Dave: We had visitors for almost a month straight!

Anything off-limits between you two?

Emily: Sometimes I'll bring up stuff late at night.

Dave: Oh, that's the worst! Bed is for sleeping, not for talking. It drives me crazy.

When do you want her to talk about it? She's with a kid all day and that takes up 100 percent of your brain space, and then you need two hours of reality television to decompress, and then when is she supposed to talk about it?

Dave: I guess when I'm trying to fall asleep. [Laughs.]

[Laughs.] No, I'm not trying to say she's right, but I sympathize with her. That's the only time my head is clear.

Emily: And you feel like a normal person again. Yeah.

What are you guys most looking forward to in your marriage?

Dave: Seeing where we end up. We just bought a historic home, like in a national historic district, and did a complete gut reno. I had to work with the city, fire a contractor, hire a new contractor ...

Emily: ... And we had a 3-month-old baby.

You guys are crazy.

Emily: I like the adventures in our marriage. I mean, we moved here and we didn't know anybody here. That's been an adventure. I look forward to where we go next and what we do.

Do you have any advice as far as marriage goes?

Dave: I struck gold man. I love her. I think if someone is willing to put up with your shit, date them. For real. When I first met Emily, I was an unemployed grad student living in New York on a thousand dollars a month. I'd failed out of three different colleges.

And now you're a dad with a historic home.

Dave: Just bored in the 'burbs.

Mad about the fence guy.

Dave: Where is he!? It's 6 o'clock!

Do you and your spouse want to tell your story? Or do you know a great couple who should tell theirs? Email secretlifeofmarrieds@gmail.com to submit for this column.

The Secret Life of Marrieds is a weekly series of interviews with married couples about the things no one tells you about marriage. Check back every Tuesday for a new interview. Previously: A Couple That Dealt With Cancer Right After Having a Baby.

Jane Marie is a writer living in Los Angeles. Follow her on Twitter.