When you think of doggy-style sex, your first instinct is probably to be vaguely freaked out. Not because it doesn't feel great, but because it's often rough and intense, and can feel a little like someone is having sex with your vagina and not you — not a cool feeling. Cosmopolitan.com asked author and sex expert Ian Kerner, Ph.D., for his tips on ways to make this traditionally animalistic sex position a bit more intimate.
1. Try doing it in a spooning position while he holds you in his arms. Doggy style lends itself to raw passion, but try the romantic, passionate version, body up against body. The spooning version gives you the potential to whisper to each other and for him to see more of your face via profile.
2. Have him start out more gently. Doggy style gives guys a lot of leverage, so it's easy for them to just start thrusting away. Encouraging him to start with slow, shallow thrusts and work up to deeper, more passionate thrusts will let you work up to the more intense part, like you would in any other position.
3. Don't bring dirty talk into it. Go for sweet talk instead. Using gentle, loving language instead of rough, sexy talk is an easy way to take doggy style from detached to gentle and caring.
4. Turn around and look at him while you're having sex. One of the big issues with doggy-style sex is that it doesn't involve direct eye contact, which can be a key component in making sex feel more intimate. Just because you're not facing each other doesn't mean you can't have that. Try looking over your shoulder at him; it's both intimate and totally hot.
5. Use doggy style to get there, then switch it up. You don't have to start in this position right away, but work into it. Then, once you're getting close, tell him you want him to come while looking into his eyes and transition into missionary or woman on top so you can come out closer than you started. Win-win.
Lane Moore is an award-winning comedian, actor, writer, and musician. She is the creator of the hit comedy show Tinder Live and author of the critically acclaimed book How to Be Alone: If You Want To, and Even If You Don't. Moore is the front person and songwriter in the band It Was Romance, which has been praised everywhere from Pitchfork to Vogue. She has written for The Onion, The New Yorker, and was previously the Sex and Relationships editor at Cosmopolitan.
