1. Wearing bobby pins. The wavy side goes down for maximum hold.
So you can enjoy beautiful hairstyles like this all day long:
2. Shining patent leather shoes. Instead of buying shoe polish and stuffing it in the back of a drawer where you'll forget about it, use Windex!
3. Cutting watermelon. If you're slicing it, you're a fool!
Cut it cross-wise as demonstrated in the below video for easy-to-eat spears.
4. Sleeping. Twisting up like a pretzel might be your usual habit. But you're ruining your back! For maximum rest and support, try these pro sleep moves:
5. Removing red wine stains. Instead of dumping random stuff on it and scrubbing like a fool, soak a red wine stain with white wine before washing.
6. Using aluminum foil and plastic wrap. Guys! Don't be the person whose foil goes spiraling out of control out of the box. Be a foil genius! Press those thingies on the side to keep the roll from flying out.
7. Eating an apple. The average person discards 30 percent of an apple. If you want to do that, bite into its side. If you don't want to be that wasteful, reduce the amount you discard by eating it top to bottom for maximum #blessed apple consumption.
8. Squats. Do not just bend your knees and stand back up again. To squat like a fitness pro, do exactly this: Stand up straight with your feet slightly wider than shoulders-width apart with your toes facing forward and your arms along your sides with palms facing in. Keeping your chest up and knees behind your toes, bend your knees and lower your butt until your thighs are parallel to the ground. As you squat down, bend your elbows and bring your hands up to chest level to help you balance. Pause, then press up through your heels to return to starting position as you drop your hands. That's one rep.
9. Drinking boxed wine. Don't just drink that shit straight.
Instead, freeze it and then blend the cubes in the blender for a wine granita. Wine is always more fun when eaten with a spoon.
10. Listening to music on your phone when you don't have a speaker handy. Stick it inside a Pringles can.
11. Making s'mores. Graham crackers are so basic. To make s'mores the right way, twist open an Oreo, fill it with a marshmallow and piece of chocolate, pop it in the microwave for a few seconds, and you have the most delicious s'more of all time.
12. Squeezing the last bit of toothpaste out of the tube. Instead of trying to do it with your bare hands, use a bobby pin! Geniuses get toothpaste out of tubes like this:
13. Collecting phone numbers. If you suspect you're dealing with a shady shadester like:
Find out if they gave you the right phone number, read it back to them with one number changed. If they correct you, they gave you the right number.
14. Drying wet nail polish. Instead of waiting for your polish to dry and then reaching for your wallet inside your purse and turning your fingers into a mess, stick your fingertips in ice water for a minute or two after painting. Then stick your hand in your purse, pull out credit cards, and just go wild without ruining your polish.
15.Peeling a banana. Do not peel it from this end unless you like all those strings that come with it. Instead, peel from the bottom for zero stringy things:
16. Eating pizza. If you feel like being basic, eat your pizza like they do in stock photos. If you want to eat your pizza like a pro, remove the crust and place it lengthwise in the center of a slice. Then, fold it like a taco. This not only enhances the crust/topping ratio if you're a crust lover, it also keeps your slice from flopping around if it's big and thin:
If you're more of a toppings person, fold your slice in half with the toppings on the outside for maximum topping flavor impact.
17. Removing the green leaves from strawberries. Don't use your fingers. This is wrong. Instead, hull your strawberry the right way — with a straw!
Yay!
18. Washing jeans. Instead of washing your jeans after every wear, which will lighten that wash you paid good money for and force you to endure the hell that is Doing Laundry, store them in the freezer, which will remove odor and help you delay doing laundry for a little while longer.
19. Folding shirts. Do you do it the way that takes a super-long time?
Or do you do it the TWO-SECOND WAY?
Bet you do now.
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Amy Odell is the former editor of Cosmopolitan.com. Chief amongst her interests are cats and Beyonce. She is a feminist (thank you for asking) and ex-fashion journalist. She is the author of the hilarious book of essays, Tales from the Back Row: An Outsider’s View From Inside the Fashion Industry.