1. "Your partner should be your best friend." Your partner does not have to be your best friend. Your friends should be your friends. Your partner should have sex with you in bed (or elsewhere) and go to the hospital with you when your sister gives birth. If he doesn't also braid your hair while you watch Frozen and enthuse over the dawning of rosé-drinking season, that doesn't mean your love isn't true and deep.
2. "You have to be each other's plus-one at every celebration or family event." If his friends are throwing a party, and you don't know them that well and are coming down with the flu, stay home! He can function on his own. Send a nice note and a gift, and curl up with Sex and the City reruns, and don't worry about it.
3. "Learn to enjoy doing things your partner loves." You don't have to love the same things. If he loves golf and you do not, you do not have to watch golf with him. Just like you'd rather go to the Beyoncé concert with someone who isn't rolling his eyes in the corner, he'd rather watch golf with a fellow enthusiast.
4. "Never go to bed angry." Sometimes you need to sleep on it so you wake up and realize how silly you were both acting last night when you had a huge fight over who got all those crumbs in the couch crevices.
5. "Split chores evenly." If he does 90 percent of the laundry and that works for your lifestyle, great! The balance of who does more housework will ebb and flow over the course of the relationship, and as long as you're not stuck doing all of it, that's just fine.
6. "Set aside one night a week for date night." It's hard to keep to a set day each week. Make sure you have alone time that doesn't just consist of him sitting next to you while you watch Scandal each week, but don't freak out if suddenly he can't take you out on Friday.
7. "Don't keep secrets from each other." There are some things he doesn't need to know. Like if your mom said she can't believe he wore those shoes? Telling him will just hurt his feelings and potentially cause a big fight.
8. "If you break up and get back together, it will never work." Sometimes breakups make you realize how much you love a person and don't want to be without him. Knowing how to forgive each other will only make your relationship stronger.
9. "Pick your battles." If something's bothering you, say something. A lot of people tend to under-communicate in a relationship, which can lead to passive aggression.
10. "You shouldn't have to ask someone to make time for you." Sometimes you need to tell someone what you need. And if you need more time together, there's nothing wrong with asking your partner for it.
11. "Don't listen to your friends." If all your friends have the same gripe about someone you're with, maybe you should listen to them.
12. "Don't talk about your ex." While you shouldn't go on and on about your past relationship, it's fine for your current guy to know what your ex did that drove you crazy. Besides, people kind of like hearing about how much better they are than the last person their partner dated.
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Photo credit: CW
Amy Odell is the former editor of Cosmopolitan.com. Chief amongst her interests are cats and Beyonce. She is a feminist (thank you for asking) and ex-fashion journalist. She is the author of the hilarious book of essays, Tales from the Back Row: An Outsider’s View From Inside the Fashion Industry.
