Everyone knows that Fifty Shades of Grey began as Twilight fan fiction, so it makes sense that there would be similarities between the two on the page. However, now that the official trailer for Fifty Shades has finally arrived, it's clear that these similarities will definitely extend to the film adaptation. Beyoncé involvement notwithstanding, these movies are pretty much exactly the same.
1. Slow-motion. So much slow-mo! Do the cameras even have another setting? If the run time ends up being close to three hours, you'll know why.
2. A nervous, mousy-haired girl with low self-esteem who enjoys speaking in voiceover. "I'm just hunching because I don't think I'm pretty, OK?"
3. A gorgeous man deflecting questions about his personal life. This is a red flag that your object of affection is either (1) a vampire or (2) really into S&M.
4. "I'm incapable of leaving you alone." That's essentially Christian's way of saying, "You're like a drug to me."
5. Daredevil adventures. Christian taking Anastasia for a ride in a plane. Edward leaping through trees with Bella on his back. It doesn't matter what date activity you choose, so long as it's extremely dangerous. Look for anything that requires signing a waiver.
6. A dramatic moment of confession. "My tastes are very singular. You wouldn't understand." = "My family. We're different from others of our kind."
7. Said mousy girl is willing to get "enlightened" about said "singular tastes." Whether those tastes be blood or Ben Wa balls. She's up for anything!
8. A bleakly lit, overcast setting in the Pacific Northwest. Half the work of getting everyone extra-pale is already done for you.
9. Posing as a stand-in for actually acting. When you're this attractive, you can just stand around and Blue Steel (Steele?) for the camera.
10. Slowly building mood music. What is this all leading to? Sex? Love? Excessive blood loss? Only time/two hours spent in the movie theater will tell.
For reference:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uxjNDE2fMjI
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