Some couples spend their Saturday mornings going to brunch or marathoning their favorite TV shows. Grayson and Tina Haver Currin of Raleigh, N.C., take part in a different couples' activity: counter-protesting the anti-abortion protesters who gather in front of a nearby women's health clinic. Grayson, a music writer for a local independent newspaper, and Tina, a copywriter and creative strategist, use humor to defuse the protests and document their activities on their blog, Saturday Chores, which went viral this week. They talked to Cosmopolitan.com about political activism, egalitarian marriage, and what you should bring with you when you bust your wife out of jail.
How did you meet?
Grayson: We met almost four years ago through mutual friends in the music community. Tina added me as a friend on Facebook so we started talking and met at a metal show. We go to a lot of concerts. We're vegetarians. We're both runners. We're best friends. We can't leave each other alone.
Tina: I was just graduating from UNC-Chapel Hill. I got an apartment in downtown Durham and didn't know that many people. A friend who's a record store clerk suggested that I friend Grayson. Later that same friend married us. We got married in June 2013.
Did you have politics in common when you met?
Grayson: I was raised to be fairly liberal. I thought I was sensitive to politics and gender issues, and when I met Tina, there were times she really challenged me. We're both very progressive, and I don't think we would be together unless that were the case. But Tina's played a pivotal role in me trying to understand these issues. I think I'm still learning.
Tina: We had two fights — well, disagreements, while we were dating. I've been a vegetarian since I was 12. And he was a Bojangles'-eating dude. When we got into the morality and the ethics and the politics of it, we had a tiff about it. The second one was about Grayson using gender pronouns. I asked him why does he always use the male pronoun. I asked why he thought "he" was a substitute for gender-neutral, and it was a debate.
Grayson: When we got married, I felt that it was unfair to ask Tina to change her last name and me to be the same dude I've always been. So my name was Daniel Grayson Currin, and now it's Grayson Haver Currin. Haver was her maiden name. We have the same middle and last names. I think it surprises people. I recently got called a woman [in the comment thread on an article I wrote] because I had that name. People make assumptions about it. People mock stories I wrote. Someone said "woman" in a very pejorative way.
What inspired you to start protesting the protesters outside the clinic and start your blog?
Tina: The title of the blog is quite literal. I got a gift card to Home Depot for my birthday, and we went to [the neighboring town of] Cary to do chores on a Saturday morning, buy some cleaning and gardening supplies. We passed the clinic, and that was the first time that we decided to make the [counter-protest] sign. It became part of our routine housework and chores we do on Saturday morning.
Grayson: I captioned the first photo "Saturday chore" on Instagram. It just stuck around. Our friends asked "Are you doing your chores today?"
Why did you make this a joint activity?
Grayson: Anything you do as a couple, you get closer. We don't do anything separately from each other. The only weeks we haven't done it are weeks when one of us is out of town. Or our anniversary.
How do the protesters react?
Tina: They talk at us constantly. Constantly! The first time we went, I asked four times, with increasing quiver in my voice, for them to please leave me alone. They finally obliged, only after Grayson stepped between us and asked a little less politely. They tell us we're terrible sinners, we're going to hell, we secretly love God, etc. They ask how many abortions I've had — none, actually — if we're atheists — yeah, totally — and why we're even bothering — because it bothers you, duh!
One of the funniest interactions happened when Protester No. 1, a twentysomething white male, said that the clinic workers actually support what they're doing. We told him it seemed unlikely that you could work at the clinic and also support shaming the women who use their services. He responded, "I do work at this clinic." Grayson and I just started laughing. You work at this clinic? He fumbled around for a minute and then said, "I mean, I've talked to people who work here." It's totally nonsensical, knee-jerk reaction stuff like that. I bite my tongue so hard I'm afraid it might slice it in half.
We've been told on multiple occasions that the reason we feel compelled to join them on Saturdays is because we secretly wish we were on their side. Like, God has drawn us to this place to be exposed to them, and we'll eventually flip. In the Crystal Pepsi photo, they're all praying for me. Well, I'm not sure if they're praying for me or for "Grayson's Wife." They don't call me by name. I'm property of my husband, of course, and shall be referred to as such. So yes, I consider that a pretty intense gender insult.
Was this your first experience demonstrating or getting involved in politics?
Tina: I was part of the Moral Monday protest [a regular, organized protest held in Raleigh] and got arrested the day after Grayson and I got back from our honeymoon. I was part of active peaceful civil disobedience. I was upset about voter ID laws, reduction of education funding and social programs, and restrictions to abortion rights. All of my family is out of state, so they just see these headlines and ask, "What's up with this?" I wanted to be a drop in the bucket of change.
What was it like when Tina got arrested?
Tina: I got arrested around 7 p.m., and I was bummed out because we had been seeing commercials for this show Under the Dome. I thought I was going to miss the premiere. Believe it or not, I was in and out of jail in time to catch the season premiere. Grayson picked me up from jail at 9:45 with a pizza.
At first, Saturday Chores was just you two. But now there's a Google doc helping organize more volunteers who wanted to join you. Was expanding always part of the plan?
Tina: People weren't leaving us alone about it. We didn't like to hang out in front of the clinic very long because I don't think it's a good look to make more commotion out there. In a perfect world, everyone would leave these people [going into the clinic] alone. Our goal was to point out a little absurdity, but at some point it's just not enough. Some people were asking, so we decided that this weekend we'd get there before the pro-life people do, show up with enough people to crowd them out, and do it the whole time. We'll be there probably five hours and have enough people that [the anti-abortion protesters] don't have a chance to show their signs. We would love to see this more humorous take on combating these hateful things spread.
Grayson: People reacted to it so strongly. North Carolina politics right now are a pretty bad situation. People are feeling like people they didn't vote for are making life hard, and this is some way to engage in combating that in a small way. It's really nice for people to be talking about something from North Carolina that's not "Here's what the governor did this week." It's something positive and progressive and is about empowering people, not taking their rights.
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