Kim Kardashian is reportedly set to make $200 million from her absurdly addictive iPhone app, a large chunk of which is apparently coming from impressionable children. At least according to one angry mom, who is not going to stand for that, no, siree! Many of the best Twitter meltdowns have come from aggrieved, over-protective parents, and author Ayelet Waldman's Kardashian-themed rager is no exception via Gawker.
In a series of Facebook messages as well as 22 tweets and retweets last night, Waldman spun out a vicious, anti-kapitalist narrative, after realizing her 11-year-old son Abe had spent $120 on in-game "koins," new clothes, and pets. (The pets are a total waste of money, trust me.) You can read highlights from her wild diatribe below; she curses the Kardashians, who she calls "soulless pigs," says they made her son cry "hysterically," and attempts to start a boycott of the game. Well let me just tell you Ayelet, that I am only 12 spots away from being at the very top of the A-List and I'm not stopping now for anything:
And funnily enough, it's dedication to the rampant social-climbing that Kim's game is all about that likely motivated Waldman's son's spending spree. Let's say he needed some more koins, the in-app currency that you can use to replenish your energy, reconnect with your dates, and buy the latest outfit Kim has "personally" selected, among other perks. Here's the process he, or you, or all of us— because we are all Ayelet Waldman's son when it comes to a passion for Kim's game — need to go through to buy more:
1. Selecting your purchase — obviously you want to pick some that come in a Vuitton-branded suitcase, right? Please note that the real-life costs are clearly labeled:
2. Logging into your iTunes account. Please note the "confirming purchase" text below, even though it's perhaps not as clear as it could be:
3. And yes, confirming that you're spending real world money on the app:
It seems unlikely you could merrily click your way through these three clearly explained stages even amid the most-frenzied state Kim Kardashian: Hollywood leaves you in — I mean, you can't risk not finishing your photo shoot and pissing off Marcel Tesiano, can you?! — without an awareness you're spending actual money. Even if it's on a credit card. And even if that credit card belongs to your parents and you're maybe, possibly hoping they won't notice? But I'm not here to call an 11-year-old out, so let's move on. I once ate a whole tub of ice cream as a child and, when confronted by my parents, blamed in order: (1) my sister, who didn't like the flavor; (2) the kids from across the street even though it turned out my mom knew they weren't even at home that day; and (3) a ghost, so I mean, we've all been there.
Waldman even acknowledges the real issue is that an apparent glitch in the parental controls set up on her household meant a $20 cap she and her husband thought was in place was somehow avoided. (Sure, Kris Jenner is sneaky like that, but it's beside the point.) That the spending came on Kim Kardashian's app is immaterial; Waldman doesn't mention any issue on her part with her kids playing the game, at least not before they spent her money on it. And so if she feels as strongly about paying, or not funding, Kim's lip gloss as her tweets make clear, then she maybe should have paid closer attention before they'd even had time to style Kim for that fateful in-game red carpet.
But I'm not here to call her out either, at least not much, so let's just say that the experience taught her son a valuable lesson about the ~*COSTS of fame, and perhaps even more about sensible spending habits than she had.
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