Cosmo Challenge: Make up a sex position based on the name The Dirty Downward Dog, and try it out tonight.
Yesterday I was flipping through the channels and came across Going the Distance. And I would have kept flipping (don't hate me for saying this, but I'm not a huge Drew B. fan), but it was the scene where she and Justin Long are having slow, sweet, romantic, perfectly lit, intimate sex, probably with some amazing song in the background, and I was entranced. You'd think I was some 11-year old who was watching a sex scene for the first time. (Hmm, guessing kids these days don't usually make it to 11 without seeing a sex scene. Ugh, I feel old.) But I couldn't stop watching. Justin does not do it for me (except in those Mac/PC commercials and I think that's more about the fact that I am super into Apple products), but in that moment, I never wanted to be under Justin Long so much in my life.
And then it hit me. They were—excuse me while I gag out this phrase—making love. I despise that phrase. Like, despise despise. But that's exactly what they were doing and there's no other way to describe it. And a moment later, something else hit me. It has been a long ass time since D. and I have—must suppress gag reflex—made the love.
Don't get me wrong. The sex, as you all know, has been good. Oftentimes damn good. But love has not been made as of late. And I miss it. (OK, as I typed that, I had to suppress another kind of physical reaction, a little lump in my throat.
Now, don't go reading in to this and start thinking that something's off in our relationship, yadda yadda yadda. (Though, yes, that's probably what I would consider if I were you.) But I do think we've temporarily forgotten that sex doesn't have to be all aggressive and hot-n-raunchy all the time.
After the scene ended, I rehinged my jaw, picked up my phone, and called D.
"What are you doing right now?" I asked when he picked up.
"Watching TV."
"Going the Distance?!"
"Uh, I don't know what that is, but no."
"Well, I am and it's making me want to see you and hook up with you."
"I like this movie! Come on over!"
I paused. "OK, but I don't want to have sex. I want to...have...intimate non-sex sex."
"I have no idea what you're talking about, but come over for some non-sex sex."
I headed over and told D. about my realization and how I was feeling. He totally got me and he said that what he loves about hooking up with me is that it's always different and new-feeling. And that if I wanted to try something a little different (ie, calmer, slower), he was all for it.
I told him we should create a sex position, as per this challenge, but we should come up with one that wasn't doggy style. Cue look of slight disappointment in D.'s eyes. Sorry, dude, but doggy style is not what comes to mind when I think of lovemaking. I was able to say it without gagging that time!
Here's what we came up with:
D. sat on the couch with his feet planted on the ground. I straddled him and wrapped my legs around his torso. Once he was inside me, he cupped the back of my head with his right hand, put his left one on my lower back and leaned forward. Far forward. So my head was almost touching the floor. Then he proceeded to thrust slash rock back and forth.
I put my feet up on the back of the couch and grabbed onto D.'s shoulders. He was really deep inside of me and each thrust felt really intense.
And here's the best part: we maintained eye contact almost the entire time. And we didn't say anything. I think I was trying to emulate the Going the Distance scene I had watched earlier (Go ahead, judge me. I'm judging myself!) and D. was just following my silent lead.
The position allowed for awesome clitoral stimulation, but I think D. was actually too deep to hit my G-spot (is that possible?). I needed D. to be moving in a slightly more circular way if I was going to climax, so I whispered for him to stay still and I began to move my hips in small circles (really, more like ovals) until I got close. Then I lowered my feet and wrapped them around his torso again so I could pull him closer to me. I arched my back, completed a few more circles and bam. Orgasm.
D. watched without moving or saying anything as I climaxed. And after I returned to this planet, he started gently thrusting again. A minute later, he finished, pulling me up into a sitting position and hugging me hard.
If it were a movie, we would have had perfect, slow-motion, simultaneous orgasms without any mess or clean-up. But I'm not Drew and he's not Justin and this wasn't a movie so I can't complain.
Then D. went off-script and whispered in my ear, "I love you so much, [insert my full name here]." JLong, you got nothing on my leading man.
OK, I'm dying to know if anyone else has experience what I did—the sense that you and your guy only have sex, but don't make love. Or is it the opposite, that you feel like you're always having nice, lovely, intimate sex, but rarely effing. Also, if you had to choose between banging porn-style and doing it Going the Distance-style for the rest of your relationship, which would it be?
