1. The hella old, beige, comfortable one. Actually, it started out beige, but it’s barely even a color anymore. You’ve been wearing the shit out of it since high school and it’s been washed so often that it’s like the thin beigey-grey of old person skin. It’s so comfy that you forget you’re wearing it during the day, and you know you should get rid of it eventually, but you keep it “for Sundays.” (And end up wearing it every day.

2. The borderline trashy red and/or hot pink pushup. At a certain point as a young, female lingerie consumer, every girl realizes that the guy she is dating does not care about the really beautiful gossamer dragonfly wing pastel bralette that hints at understated sensuality, costs $1,000 dollars and has probably been featured on Gwyneth Paltrow’s GOOP. Nope, he likes the unsubtle $16 bras at mall chain stores with the rhinestones on them. So, whatever. You own them.

3. The gossamer dragonfly pastel bralette. A lace creation that offers zero support or padding that you got because your super classy friend said that bralettes without underwire were “more European.” On the one hand, they make your boobies feel like the boobies of a wood nymph. On the other hand, when they turn on the AC in your office you’re the mayor of Nipple City.

4. The disgusting sports bra. A hideous rag that only emerges from the drawers for yoga, and only the classes that don’t pretend to be yoga but are really semi-passive aggressive Lululemon-themed fashion shows.

5. The really cute, expensive sports bra. For that second type of class I just mentioned, and also for toning or cardio at a unisex gym that features two-way mirrors and MAYBE overlooks college boys playing basketball. Not that I am thinking of the specific gym that I used to go to.

6. The American Apparel lame tube bra you bought in early college. And thought you’d never wear again, but actually you wear it every time you wear a strapless shirt and can’t find your good strapless bra, which is all the damn time.

7. The really cute retro bra-and-high-waist-panties set. You splurged on it at Anthropologie or on Modcloth but don’t wear it enough because you sometimes think you can’t pull off the high-waist underwear look without looking like your Great Aunt Sylvia.

8. The zillion dollar La Perla bra-and-thong set. You barely wear it because the underwire is so intense it pokes into your heart/brains/existence, but when you do, you feel like a high-end hooker in a very good way.

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Anna Breslaw
Writer. Things I appreciate: Ghosts, white wine, men who look like they could protect me from predators, and a great homemade deviled egg. Also, I have a VERY ambivalent obsession with Sex and The City but I'm not like any of them, other than maybe Miranda's cat.