What This Woman Found in Her Bottled Water Will Make You Sick

Well, this is the grossest thing of all time. If you have any issues with bodily fluids whatsoever, please stop reading. Now. Like, five minutes ago. Everyone else, get ready to puke forever. 

Australian Alicia Cooper claims she was drinking a bottle of water from a local deli when she noticed a foul taste and smell. "Instantly I knew something was not right, I just knew," she said. "I thought 'oh my gosh, there's something wrong with my water.'"

She had a lab test done, and sure enough: it was semen. A DNA sample from Dahn Lo, the deli's former owner, confirmed her suspicions. Just. I cannot. That is the worst. 

Cooper is seeking damages for economic loss, medical expenses, and compensation for symptoms and stress she endured after drinking the spunky water. 

"I can't even make decisions on what to eat. It's really affected me so much," Cooper said. "You don't think anything like this would happen to you? It was just so hurtful. It's been so humiliating."

Again: I cannot. Please excuse me while I go wash my mouth out until the end of time and space. The entire planet will implode upon itself and I'll still be here gargling with mouth wash. Dinosaurs will come back and find me scrubbing at my tongue with a loofa brush. FOREVER. 

Follow Laura on Twitter.

Photo via Getty